i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Randomize
