that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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