you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
