it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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