butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
