Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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