Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
