hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
