Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
We need to get me chipped asap
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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