sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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