I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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