some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
