Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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