She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
