idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
