Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
