so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
