Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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