Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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