Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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