So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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