Me. At least after what I've been through.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
