I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Your cock deserves a montage
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
