why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
