I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
