in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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