I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
