it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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