OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
