Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
