so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
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