And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Girls should come with a carfax report
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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