yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ATM looks so different sober.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize