I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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