Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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