About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
