the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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