yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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