I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
