yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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