Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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