lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
