Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
