I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
