"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
