i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
