Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
