Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
