we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
