singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize