Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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