the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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