need another drink. this is the easiest way
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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