It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
