That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize