So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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