Buhtt sex?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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