But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
