Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
