Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
