spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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