it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
