You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
