So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
