Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
