how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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