I hope mine doesn't look like that
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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